Paying the debt

Became a principal investigator dealing with ~1.6 billion won as of Oct. 23rd. My job is to manage the multiple funding sources to be used up in several months, which requires a substantial amount of paperwork, meetings, business trips, social events, etc. This would probably be the same next year. The only reason that I accepted the offer was to pay the old debt; he helped me to support my students for a couple of years. The debt was supposed to be paid off by the collaboration works. But it didn't work that way. Maybe I still need to complete the collaboration work, too. I do understand that there is no free lunch. But the debt continuously drags me into the grave of something that is not productive, creative, and efficient from my perspective. What goes through my mind is "what the debt did to me." What was the tangible benefit for me? Probably none.